Theory of Evolution is crap, we have something new

The ideas published in this blog are not mine alone and might be mentioned in other blogs too.

Me and gandy(Gandharva Bakshi, my big small friend) were once discussing that there is lot in the world that is not understood. Particluarly the evolution is not well understood and proposed theories have a million loop holes. So here are a few alternate theories which propose - "We did not evolve at all."

Theory 1: The BTP theory
Possible mentions of this part might be in Gandy's blog.

Me and gandy were wondering if Matrix, the movie, is an explaination to this. To begin, I will just explain how BTP(B.Tech. Projects) are done in IIT. The BTP is a 6 credit course kinda thing in which we have to publish a report, make a presentation, face the viva, meanwhile making the profs believe that we do not know what plagiarism is? If at all they do mention plagiarism, we try to get away by looking dumb and throwing all the blame onto our poor vocab. "We don't know what it is!"

Typical cases of BTP include ones where there is a new faculty involved. Such profs, mostly want their first few students to get throught with their vivas without hassel. So last year one of the profs actually gave two students his Ph.D thesis and asked them to take "INSPIRATION" from it. What the hell!! But there are others like me who are serious about it. There are others who aren't serious, but their experimental results are serious. Such a wonder can be achieved by intelligently modelling(false reporting) your data. Results please the viva commitee and mostly they award the fake readings a centum, meanwhile feeling sorry for the BoyWonder who will have to leave IIT and will not be able to continue his breathtaking discovery.

Coming back to the point, me and gandy thought - "What if all of us are BTPs. I mean the studd ones are a BTP simulation of some good student under god(i choose to give the generic name to the super guide of all BTPs). Others like me are BTPs of ones who are struggling to make through with good enough results in time. There are these imposter people on earth who are the BTPs that are the falsely-reported-data-made-to-look-good-kinds. The BTP simulations run until GOD takes a look at the code and evaluates it. After that the simulations are terminated, a process equivalent to death on the simulated earth. Hence forth the BTP codes are thrown into either of the two junk databases - Heaven or Hell.

Saddam was a BTP of some chemical engineer who was trying to build WMDs. Bad news is that Bush is the BTP of some crytography student who hacked into Saddam's makers research and punished his BTP. What the hell is up with those guys? They do something over there and the stick runs up our ass. Now see, Saddam's maker can always make a new BTP even if his old BTP was rejected up there and destroyed. But what about the BTP of innocent students whose BTPs had nothing objectionable but their BTPs got punished along with the rejected BTP, Saddam. A million people killed in the simulated world.

God has to sort out the adminstrative issues up there in his college. Some crude laws of his college cause a lot of havoc in this simulated college of mine. He wants a gaussian distribution of the quality of BTPs. Resultantly a thousand of simulated BTP people, the ones close to y=0 line on his graph, end up living in inferiority complex. Non engineers will hate this comment of mine.



Theory 2: The Big BOX theory (Bye
Bye Big Bang Theory)
My zambian friend Zambie from Zambia proposed this one.

Zambie says - Imagine a box. A black box. Very big, as big as the universe. I guess he meant that universe is a box. So.... ya... Inside the biiiig black box there are lot of marbles. On each marble there is a lot of dirt. That dirt particles are actually tinier(tiny compared to diemensions of 1st box and the marbles) black box which again have several marbles full of dirt and so on. Keep going down into the system recursively and we are at one level of complexity in such a system. The dynamics of this system can be explained as follows - There is GOD. I know you are frustrated to read that in my scientific publication, but then non-evolution centric universe dynamics need some GOD like thing for completeness. GOD has kids and one of those kids has this biggest black box as a toy. So he plays with it, sleeps with it. He Takes it into light(call that a day), puts it in a dark closet(call this a night). He throws it in anger(earthquake), puts it in real sun(remember our sun is just marble in the box) (call it global warming). Everything can be explained.

Better than evolution theory.